You’ve spent the last hour preparing a nutritious meal, only to be met with wrinkled noses and protests from your children. Sound familiar? You’re not alone! For many families, the dinner table often becomes a battleground where power struggles ensue, and patience wears thin.
A recent study from the UK brings some interesting insights into the issue of picky eating. Researchers from University College London, King’s College London, and the University of Leeds found that food fussiness in children is “a largely genetic trait.”
This might come as a relief to many parents who have been blaming themselves for their child’s limited palate. However, while genetics might play a role in picky eating, it doesn’t mean we’re powerless in helping our kids expand their food horizons.
Beyond Genetics: Other Factors in Picky Eating
Often, when children scrunch up their noses at broccoli or refuse to try new foods, it’s not just about the food itself. Anxiety and fears can contribute to picky eating and misbehaving at mealtimes. Children may project their general anxieties onto food, making mealtimes a manifestation of other underlying concerns.
One of my colleagues once helped her daughter through a bout of separation anxiety at school, and later that evening, her daughter wanted to try potatoes and cheese at dinner—two foods she had never eaten before! When we help our children process their feelings in life, we may see them become more adventurous with their food choices.
Strategies for Harmonious Mealtimes
One effective strategy is to focus on connection before the meal even begins. Offering special time or engaging in silly games that induce laughter can not only help get kids to the table but also foster a more cooperative atmosphere once they’re there.
Laughter is one of the ways in which children (and adults!) release stress, tension, and fear that can get in the way of enjoying food. It can help children feel safe to express the big feelings that might be interfering with their meals.
Playful Approaches to Encourage Eating
Below are seven playful strategies from my colleagues at Hand in Hand Parenting that help children be more adventurous and reduce tension for everyone at the table.
- Special Time
Roma Norriss, a Hand in Hand Instructor in Bristol, UK, recommends doing special time before dinner. In the rush to prepare food, we often forget about connecting with our kids. Try spending 10-15 minutes of focused, child-led playtime before the meal. This close connection can help children feel safe to try new foods. Roma shares, “My very fussy daughter has been known to exclaim, ‘Mmm delicious quinoa!’ when she has had a good dose of special time.”
- Yuck Game
In this classic game, reverse roles and pretend you’re scared of the food. Bring your fork up to your mouth and make a suspicious face. Try it and make exaggerated yucky sounds. You can even run away from it! Encourage your child to feed you this “disgusting” food by saying, “I hope you don’t make me eat this horrible food.” Kids often enjoy role reversal, and it might just inspire them to prove how ‘yummy’ the food actually is.
- Mmm Game
Start by taking bites of your food while looking a bit skeptical that it’s going to be tasty. As you chew, say a small “mmm.” Gradually ramp up your surprise and delight at how delicious the food is with a big, long “mmmmmm” sound. Make some animated movements to express how tasty it is. You could even run around the room in a wild way, then come back and say, “Oh sorry, that food just sent me a bit crazy for a moment.” This exaggerated enjoyment can be contagious!
- Secret Eating
Hand in Hand instructor Skye Munro from Australia suggests this fun approach. Put their children’s plates down with food at the table and say, “OK, I don’t want ANYONE to eat ANY of this food. Please do NOT eat this. I just want you to look after it for a bit while I grab something from the bedroom.” Walk away for a minute and come back to see what they’ve eaten. With mock horror, exclaim, “Oh no, it looks like someone has eaten this food?! That can’t be right?!” This game turns eating into a fun act of playful rebellion.
- Seat Glue
Hand in Hand Instructor Sarah MacLaughlin has a fun suggestion for children who are finding it hard to sit still. Pretend to spread glue on the chair before they sit. When they get up, act confused as to why your glue is not working: “That is so strange! I guess I’ll put some more glue on here… Hurry, see if you can eat a bite of food before that glue wears off.” You can add “stronger glue” each time, making it a fun game that encourages both sitting at the table and eating.
- Doll Role-play
Stephanie Parker in the UK shares this creative idea: “I pretend my daughter’s dolls and animals don’t want to eat their dinner. My daughter then pretends to be the parent and sets the limit and encourages them to eat. She loves this.” This role-play allows children to embody the parent role, often leading them to voice the very encouragements they’ve heard from you.
- The Wrong Seat
If each family member usually sits in a regular seat, you can get a few giggles flowing by sitting down in the wrong one. Take a fork and start to eat a mouthful of dinner, then stop and say, “Hang on, something’s not quite right here. This is not my dinner. I’m in Daddy’s seat!” This simple mix-up can create a light-hearted atmosphere right at the start of the meal.
Remember, the key to these strategies is to keep them light, fun, and free from pressure. Too often, dinnertime is fraught with power struggles and defiance. Food can be emotional for kids and parents alike! By incorporating these playful approaches, you’re not just addressing the immediate challenge of picky eating—you’re easing fears and building stronger connections with your children.
When we help our children with food issues, we might see leaps and gains in other areas of their lives too. There’s a reciprocal relationship between general emotional well-being and attitudes towards food. By addressing one, we often see improvements in the other. So, take a deep breath, add a dash of patience, a sprinkle of understanding, and a generous helping of playfulness to your family dinner recipe. Here’s to more laughter and less struggle at your dinner table!
